Sunday, August 29, 2004
"ONLY AT WAL-MART
One day, in line at the company cafeteria. Joe says to Mike behind
him, 'My elbow hurts like hell.' I guess I better see a Doctor.'
'Listen,you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.
'There's a Diagnostic Computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
Urine Sample and the Computer will tell you what's wrong, and what
to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot
cheaper than a Doctor.'
So Joe deposits a Urine Sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the Computer lights up and
asks for the Urine Sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
waits. Ten seconds later, the Computer ejects a printout: 'You
have tennis elbow soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.' Thank You For Shopping @
Wal-Mart.
That evening while thinking how amazing this New Technology was.
Joe began wondering if the Computer could be Fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe
hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He Deposits
Ten Dollars, Pours In His Concoction, And Awaits The Results. The
Computer Prints The Following:
1. Your Tap Water Is Too Hard. Get A Water Softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your Dog Has Ringworm. Bathe Him With Anti-Fungal Shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your Daughter Has A Cocaine Habit. Get Her Into Rehab.
4. Your Wife Is Pregnant. Twins - They Aren't Yours. Get A Lawyer.
5. If You Don't Stop Playin! g With Yourself, Your Elbow Will Never Get Better.
Thank You For Shopping @ Wal-Mart."
One day, in line at the company cafeteria. Joe says to Mike behind
him, 'My elbow hurts like hell.' I guess I better see a Doctor.'
'Listen,you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.
'There's a Diagnostic Computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a
Urine Sample and the Computer will tell you what's wrong, and what
to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot
cheaper than a Doctor.'
So Joe deposits a Urine Sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the Computer lights up and
asks for the Urine Sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
waits. Ten seconds later, the Computer ejects a printout: 'You
have tennis elbow soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.' Thank You For Shopping @
Wal-Mart.
That evening while thinking how amazing this New Technology was.
Joe began wondering if the Computer could be Fooled. He mixed
some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe
hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He Deposits
Ten Dollars, Pours In His Concoction, And Awaits The Results. The
Computer Prints The Following:
1. Your Tap Water Is Too Hard. Get A Water Softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your Dog Has Ringworm. Bathe Him With Anti-Fungal Shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your Daughter Has A Cocaine Habit. Get Her Into Rehab.
4. Your Wife Is Pregnant. Twins - They Aren't Yours. Get A Lawyer.
5. If You Don't Stop Playin! g With Yourself, Your Elbow Will Never Get Better.
Thank You For Shopping @ Wal-Mart."
