Sunday, October 17, 2004

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a light bulb?

    The Answer is TEN:

    1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed,
    2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed,
    3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb,
    4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness.
    5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.
    6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner 'Bulb Accomplished.'
    7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time.
    8. One to viciously smear #7.
    9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.
    10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Postcards from the Bleeding Edge: "  Favorite joke of the night...
As we setup tables and banners until the wee hours of the morning - improvising fasteners and the like to hold everything together -

'We're launching the world's most advanced spaceship in 7 hours... and we're running out of velcro and duct tape!'"

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